Don't Marry her, have me
by RachelKarenGeller
Summary: This was my second attempt at writing so it is fairly simple.It's about when Ross is Marrying Emily. Lobsters story
1. Chapter 1

**Don't Marry Her, Have me**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Friends, though I wish I did.**

**A/N. Here is my attempt at writing, so it's fairly simple.**

**Rated K+**

**XXX**

Rachel sat in her apartment thinking about Ross and the fact that he'd gone to London to marry that bitch Emily.

"Why did I ever set them two up? Why did I have to like attractive guys like Joshua?" Rachel whined. "I should have known Ross was the only one for me. And now it's too late." Rachel began to cry into her hands just as a song came on the radio. It was Celine Dion's, Don't marry her, have me. Rachel listened carefully to the words…

**_Think of you with pipe and slippers  
Think of her in Bed  
Laying there just watching telly  
Then think of me instead  
I'll never grow so old and flabby  
That could never be  
Don't marry her, have me_**

**_And your love light shines like cardboard  
But your work shoes are glistening  
She's a PhD in 'I told you so'  
You've a knighthood in 'I'm not listening'  
She'll grab your Sandra bullocks  
Then slowly raise her knee  
Don't marry her, have me_**_!_

**_And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay  
And you realise you can't make it anyway  
You have to wash the car  
Take the kiddies to the park  
Don't marry her, have me!_**

**_Those lovely Sunday mornings  
With breakfast brought in bed  
Those blackbirds look like knitting needles  
Trying to peck your head  
Those birds will peck your soul out  
And throw away the key_**_  
**Don't marry her, have me!**_

**_And the kitchen's always tidy  
And the bathroom's always clean  
She's a diploma in 'just hiding things'  
You've a first in 'low esteem'  
When your socks smell of angels  
But your life smells of brie  
Don't marry her, have me!_**

**_And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay  
And you realise you can't make it anyway  
You have to wash the car  
Take the kiddies to the park  
Don't marry her, have me!_**

**_And the Sunday sun shines down on San Francisco bay  
And you realise you can't make it anyway  
You have to wash the car  
Take the kiddies to the park  
Don't marry her, have me…!_**

Rachel sat there for what seems like hours…days…months even, thinking about the words of the song and how much they related to her current situation.

Then it suddenly hit her like a tsunami washing over her heart,

"What am I doing!?" She quickly stood,

"I can't just let that bitch steal the only man I have ever truly loved and the man I may be destined to spend the rest of my life with, I just…CAN'T; No way am I letting that wedding go ahead."

Rachel picked up the phone and quickly dialed the one person she knews would help her.

Monica's phone suddenly rang while she helped Emily with her dress

She took out her phone from her coat pocket and looked who it was, she saw that it was Rachel and presumed it must be important so she politely excused herself.

She stepped out into the hallway then answered it.

"Hello"

"_Monica, thank god! I need a HUGE favour off you." _Said Rachel's panicked voice

"Rachel, what are you doing ringing me at this time?"

"_Mon, I'm sorry, I really am, but I need you to do me this one thing for me."_

"O.K, what is it?" Monica said very confused now.

Rachel muttered into the phone in barely a whisper but through gritted teeth, "_Don't let Ross marry Emily"_

"WHAT, WHY..?" Monica was shocked

"_Because, I'm coming for him to London."_

Monica was speechless!

" Rach.. I don't know what to say, it's my brother and he's happy and maybe he's better with Emily…"

"_What! Mon, I can't believe I'm hearing this."_

"Rach, just hear me out ok?, as I was saying, it might be better for him to marry Emily, because you two, well…your always on and off and it breaks his heart and I don't want him to be hurt anymore, but on the other hand you're my best friend and I don't want you to be sad."

"_I understand, but Monica, remember when I was going to confess to Ross then Julie came, remember what you said about how much you wanted me to have Ross and how we would be sisters."_

Monica was silent again.

Monica thought about this for a minute then reluctantly agreed "ok, I'll do it!"

"_OH THANKYOU SO MUCH." _Rachel said relieved

"Your welcome, just get over here quick. I don't know how long I can hold the bitch off for."

"_I will, believe me I will"_

(Rachel slammed the phone down and ran outside to hail a cab)

"Taxiiii" she screamed.

A taxi pulled up and Rachel quickly jumped in and told the driver to get to Newark Airport and fast!

When the taxi pulled into the Airport terminal, Rachel got out and stuffed some money in the driver's hand then ran frantically to the ticket counter.

"I need a ticket to London and I need to get there now!"

Lady: Ok, we have a space on the next flight, if you hurry it leaves in 10 minutes the lady replied.

"I'll take it!"

Lady: Ok that will be $600 please

Rachel reached into her purse and pulled out a secret credit card that she had kept hidden when the gang had made her stop using her daddy's money, she gave the card to the lady who in return gave Rachel her ticket.

Lady: Gate 4, have a nice flight ma'am.

Rachel ran as fast as she could to Gate 4, JUST in time to get on the plane.

"WAITTT! WAITT!" She shouted as the boarding controller was closing the gate.

Rachel gave the man the ticket and ran down the tunnel onto the plane.

Rachel took in her seat and began thinking about Ross.

_To be continued, I do have the next chapter ready to post but i want to let this one sink in first and because it's a cliffy :)_


	2. Chapter 2

**Don't marry her, have me: Chapter 2**

**XXX**

As Ross stood in the groom's room getting ready, Monica rushed in.

"Ross. Wait, you can't marry Emily!" She cried.

Ross turned around at this, shocked to hear this from his own sister.

"But Mon, I thought you were happy for me?"

"I am but…." Monica stuttered finding it hard to answer him.

"What?" Ross asked confused

"Rachel called me." Monica said uncertain if she should tell him why but she finally decided that he needed to know.

"Because…" Monica said, finding it hard for the words to come out because in a way she was about to put a damper on his wedding.

But she just ended up spurting it out in her rather loud voice "SHE LOVES YOU, OK!"

Ross was speechless. When he finally got his voice back, his jaw hit the ground "She what?! And she chooses NOW to tell me?" Ross said.

Ross put his hand in his face, he just couldn't believe this. Rachel was unbelievable. He had finally moved on and she has to jump back into his love life again!

"Monica, why? Why tell me this now?, on my wedding day, when I'm finally happy, when I'm finally getting over Rachel."

Monica shuffled her feet uncomfortably, "because, she's sort of coming to London"

Ross bolted his head up at this shocked, "She's WHAT!!" he practically screamed.

"Monica sighed. "Yes, she's coming to London to tell you how she feels about you"

"What am I going to do?" Ross's head sunk, he really didn't know what to do.

Monica tried to reason with him. "Ross you've wanted Rachel since 9th grade right?"

Ross nodded confused at where Monica was going with this but answered her none the less. "Right?"

Monica continued, "You and Rachel are meant to be, you belong together. Ross, I know you two are always going to find it hard to stay together but think of it this way, I think she's forgiven you for the whole Chloe thing."

Ross sighed again, "Maybe you're right, maybe I should postpone the wedding at least until I've talked to Rachel but knowing me, I'll probably fall straight into her arms. Again."

Monica smiled at this and knew it was true, he would. If the world knew one thing to be true, it was that Ross had never and could never resist Rachel. "Ok."

Emily was in the bride's room getting ready when Ross walked in.

Emily in her snotty English accent said. "Ross, what are you doing here? It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding."

"Emily, I think we need to postpone the wedding."

Emily was shocked, sad and slightly angry, replied. "WHAT!, WHY?"

"Ross looked down, this was so hard for him to do. How he couldn't possibly tell Emily about Rachel without her then surely leaving him.

"I…can't say." Ross said, hoping to hope that this excuse would settle it and be enough.

"But Ross, surely you can tell me?" Emily said.

"No Emily, I can't, i'm sorry." Ross countered staying firm and strong.

"Is this to do with Rachel not being here or because of the building, because you said before you wanted to get married here and you did invite that jealous cow to come along but she said no, there can't be anymore reasons?"

Ross was angry now and in his bursts of emotion, shouted, "HEY! DO NOT INSULT RACHEL OK!?"

Emily understood now "So this is about her then. Well here's something I heard, Joey uses word of the day toilet paper whatever that is, but here's your word of the day, GOODBYE!"

"AWWW Emily, please" Ross said. But it's too late, she was gone...

_An hour and a half later Rachel ran in through the church doors looking for Ross but only found a man packing everything up._

Rachel didn't know what was going on, there was meant to be a wedding going on, so what was going on? She asked the man, "What's going on?"

"Didn't you hear? the wedding postponed or canceled, something along those lines." the man said.

Rachel felt a glittering of hope spark in her heart, she had to make sure she heard right and that her ears were not desieving her. "Really?" she asked.

"Yeah, groom postponed it at last minute." the man answered.

Rachel was now close to tears but there was one more thing this man could possibly tell her. "Where's the groom now?"

"Upstairs I think." the man said getting back to packing away now.

Rachel smiled, "Thanks!"

"Kids these days" the man shook his head in disbelief.

Rachel ran upstairs frantically and into a room to find Ross with a bouquet of Lilies.

"Rachel you're here at last" he said relieved and happy to see her

"You postponed the wedding, why? I thought you loved Emily?" Rachel said confused.

Ross smiled "I postponed it for 2 reasons, 1 is this,"

Ross walked up to Rachel and as predicted he couldn't resist her and showed this by kissing her passionately, with all the love he could muster up.

Rachel a bit dazed smiled. "Oh…"

Ross smiled at Rachel and said, "and the second is because I love Emily, but I love you more..."

Rachel started to cry in happiness and kissed Ross again.

When they finally broke away Rachel said, "I love you too Ross" and they kissed again for the next 3 hours.

1 year later Ross and Rachel are at the alter when the minister said "now Ross, repeat after me, I Ross"

"I Ross" Ross repeated,

"Take thee Rachel" continued the minister,

Ross knew he would get it right this time. "Take thee Rachel"

To be my lawfully wedded wife, till death parts us" The minister continued.

To be my lawfully wedded wife, till death parts us" Ross repeated making sure he got every word right.

"By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you, husband and wife; you may now kiss the bride"

Ross kissed his new wife the one he should have married in the first place a year ago because it was all in their destiny.

The minister had one more thing to say "I now pronounce, Mr and Mrs Geller."

Everyone clapped as the Gellar's walked down the aisle.

Plus Phoebe was able to attend this time and Ross had two best men, Chandler and Joey and the maid of honor was Monica.

Rachel then realised this is the best time to tell Ross her news

"Ross?" she said shyly.

"Yeah, Mrs Geller?" Ross said grinning from ear to ear.

"I'm Pregnant." Rachel said as she looked him straight in the eye.

Ross smiled "Wow! Rach that's great, I'm so happy; I'm going to be a dad!"

Ross picked Rachel up and spinned her around happily.

**The End**

**Or is it? I'm half considering doing another sequel called, Welcome to Parenthood, it sucks, your gonna love it.**

**Thanks for reading**


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